Better In Time
by Detafo
Summary: Drabble Shuffle Challenge  A series of 10 Drabbles telling the story of how Hawkeye and Margaret cope after the death of their daughter. Please be kind. First MASH fic ever. If you would like more, let me know :  Read and Review!


Shuffle Challenge Rules:

1. Pick a fandom/couple/crossover you like.

on your music player and put it on random (a.k.a: shuffle).

a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it ends.

4. No lingering afterwards. No cheating.

5. Do 10 of these and post them.

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Fandom: M*A*S*H

Pairing: Hawkeye/Margaret

Yep... I kinda cheated again. The songs you see are the ones that came up on my iPod, but the way my brain works, I had to rearrange the order so as to tell the story properly :-) Don't hurt me.

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**1. Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA**

Hawkeye sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair as he watched his daughter struggle to breathe. He hated seeing her in so much pain, and wished that he could take the hurt away so that the little girl could just be that - a carefree, happy little girl.

How could this happen? Last week, he remembered that she was so excited to be starting kindergarten... then Wednesday, when she'd complained of a sore chest... both he and Margaret had put it down to her asthma playing up the night before... only to recieve a panicked call from Chloe's teacher, saying that the little girl had collapsed at Story Hour...

And now here he was in Boston, watching his little girl trying to sleep in a bed that was not her own.

"Pierce..." A familiar voice cut through his thoughts. Hawkeye looked up to see Charles Winchester holding a chart, standing in the doorway of the room.

"Charles," he said, nodding, before turning his glance back to his daughter. "What're you doing here?"

Charles shuffled the chart's papers, barely looking at them, his blue eyes filled with sadness. "Chloe's results came back, Hawkeye." Hawkeye turned quickly, his eyes questioning. Charles rarely used his nickname.. "I'm sorry, Hawk... there's nothing we can do..."

Hawkeye looked at the former Major for a moment that seemed to last a year. Narrowing his eyes, he got up from the chair. "What're you talking about, _Charles_?"

"Chloe has an inoperable, cancerous growth in her thoracic cavity, Hawkeye... I'm sorry..."

**2. Hello - Evanescence**

Tears stung the backs of her eyelids as she stared down at the photo of the laughing little girl with the long black hair and the merry blue eyes. How could life be so cruel as to let them only know this little girl for three short years before cruelly ripping her away in the form of Cancer? Margaret had thought she'd seen Hell, but she was wrong. She'd only scraped the surface... Hell wasn't just young men dying in a war so far from home, Hell was also having the one you loved more than life itself ripped from you, slowly, agonisingly...

"Margaret?"

She turned to face her husband, his tall, lean form propped up against the doorway. His blue eyes filled with crumbs of sleep, with sadness. "Hawk..."

"What are you doing up?" Margaret just stared at him, holding the photograph as tears welled up in her eyes. Hawkeye made his way to her, wrapping her in a comforting embrace. "Hey, hey..." He patted her back, pulling her closer. "Margaret, it'll be all right..."

"It won't!" The former Major sobbed. "She's never coming back, Hawk... _She's never coming back!"_

Hawkeye hugged her tightly. He hated seeing the woman he loved so distraught. The event of their daughter's death had cut him deeper than any of the deaths in Korea had, but he had to be there for Margaret... he always promised he'd be there for her, for better or for worse, after all.

**3. Let's Make Love - Faith Hill and Tim McGraw**

It had taken some convincing to get her back to bed, to release the photograph back to its sanctuary on the shelf of their daughter's room, but he'd finally managed it. Margaret came quietly, tears still dripping down her cheeks as they walked back to their room down the hall.

It wasn't until they were back in bed and Hawk was almost asleep that he heard Margaret speak.

"Hawk?"

"Hmmm?"

"Hold me..."

The holding had lead to kissing, the kissing had lead to a comfort that he knew his wife needed. In the days since their daughter's funeral, Margaret had closed off almost completely, not letting anybody in.

As he moved inside her, he whispered sweet nothings to her, keeping her attention on him and him alone.

"You don't know what you do to me, Margaret..." He murmured as she closed her eyes, gripping his shoulders, making a small sort of mewling noise as she clenched around him, causing him to bury his face into her shoulder, his voice muffled. "I love you..."

"Hawk..." Margaret managed as she relaxed. "I love you, too..."

**4. Back In Time - Huey Lewis and the News**

"Mommy!"

"Chloe! Careful, baby! Don't swing too high!"

Margaret gazed at her daughter with pride as the three-year-old pumped her legs on the swing to take herself higher and higher, almost to the clouds. She looked at Hawkeye, who was standing to the side of the swingset, having given the little girl the push she needed to get going. "Hawkeye!" She called, watching as the man turned his laughing blue eyes from their daughter's ascent to his wife's gaze. He wandered over to her, putting an arm around her waist. "She gets her spirit of adventure from you, you know..."

"And she gets her instinct to survive from you." Said the doctor, quite solomnly for such a joker. "But you know she won't be with us forever..."

Margaret turned a questioning gaze to her husband. "What?"

Hawkeye motioned to their daughter, who was swinging so high, she was being lost in the blinding sunlight. "She had to go, Margaret..." He looked back at her with a sadness that seemed to consume his entire being. "She's not ours anymore... I'm sorry..."

"Hawk, what are you talking about?" Margaret felt the fear pool in her belly. He merely smiled sadly at her, before putting his hands on her shoulders, and shaking her slightly.

"Margaret, wake up..." He said suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere. "Wake up!"

"No! Not until you tell me what's going on!" Margaret felt herself shaking - with fear? She didn't know...

"Margaret! Margaret, wake up!"

Margaret was pulled from her dream, disoriented, gasping for breath. Opening her green eyes, she looked at her husband, who sat in the bed beside her, looking at her warily, worriedly. Closing her eyes, she let the tears fall silently onto the sheet. "I... I want my baby..." She sobbed, feeling Hawkeye's arms around her once again.

"I know, love..." He murmured into her hair. "I know..."

**5. Bridge Of Light - P!nk**

"Why don't you tell me how you're feeling these days, Margaret?" Sidney Freedman looked at the former Major. "How've you been sleeping?"

"Terribly." Margaret said, holding a cushion to her chest. "Ever since... since... since Chloe's funeral, I keep getting up to check on her... I go into her room and find myself just sitting on the bed, holding one of her toys..."

"That's only to be expected, Margaret." The psychiatrist said, not unkindly. "You were dealt with a blow that parents should never have to deal with, _ever_, in my opinion. But you mustn't let Chloe's death rule your life... it wasn't your fault."

"That's what Hawkeye says, too..." Margaret said, silently tracing the embroidery pattern on the cushion. "And Daniel, and my parents..."

"Have you spoken with anyone besides me or Hawkeye lately? Anyone from Korea?" Sidney asked. "Colonel Potter, for instance? BJ?"

Margaret shook her head. "The last person from the 4077th I spoke to was Charles, when Chloe was diagnosed... I... I didn't even speak to anyone at the funeral."

"Might I suggest breaking that streak?" Sidney suggested. "At times like this, you need your friends... call them." He leaned forward and patted her knee. "It'll be all right, Margaret."

**6. I Won't Forget You - Poison**

"Mommy..." A little girl's voice called. "Mommy, don't cry..."

Margaret buried her face deeper into the pillow. She wasn't going to let her mind run away with her like this... Chloe was dead, there was no bringing her back.

"Mommy," The voice said again. "Mommy, please don't cry... I'm okay... Gramma Sophie's looking after me."

_Gramma Sophie?_

Margaret lifted her head from the pillow and was confronted with a vision of a little girl, looking at her with bright blue eyes. "Chloe...?"

"Mommy," the little girl looked at her seriously. "You gotta stop crying... I'm okay... Gramma Sophie is taking good care of me..." A sunny smile split her face. "If you keep crying for me, Baby will be sad!"

"Baby?" Margaret was confused. "What baby, Chloe?"

"Baby!" The little girl lay a small hand on her mother's belly, looking up at the woman with a seriousness that three-year-olds weren't supposed to possess. She smiled again. "She's gonna be a big, strong girl... and I'll look after her. I promise."

"Chloe, it's time to go..." A woman with long, auburn hair appeared, taking the little girl by the hand. She smiled at Margaret. "Ben couldn't have picked a better wife..." She murmured softly, leaning forward to kiss Margaret's forehead. "Take care of him, Margaret... tell him that I love him..."

"Bye, Mommy! I love you!" And as Margaret watched, the two beings faded from sight, leaving the room in darkness. Margaret jumped as Hawkeye snored softly. Sitting up, she brought her hands to envelop her belly, looking down in wonder.

**7. Looking Up - Paramore**

Margaret sat, looking at the phone on the wall, alternating between chewing her thumb nail and reaching out tentatively to the reciever. Should she? Should she really take the dive and call someone? It had been so long since she'd laughed, joked with anyone... for the last six months, she'd been closed off to everyone. Hawkeye had said that they all understood... but did they really?

She hesitated again, before finally taking a deep breath and got out of her chair. Picking up the phone, she cleared her throat. "Operator, can you get me the Hunnicuts in Mill Valley, California?"

"Hold, please."

After a few moments, the line began to ring. A few moments after that, the other end was picked up. "Hello?"

The voice was shy, sweet. Margaret chewed her lip again, trying hard not to think that it was the kind of voice that Chloe would have had if she'd been allowed to grow up. "Hi... Erin, right?"

"Yeah?"

"This is Margaret Pierce, can I talk to BJ... err... your dad?"

"Okay, just a second..." The reciever was set on what sounded like a table and Margaret listened to the little girl calling for her father. "Daaaaaaaad! Phooooone!"

A minute later, a familiar voice floated down the line. "Margaret?"

"Hi, Beej." She felt the lump in her throat dissipate. It had been so long since she'd talked to someone other than Hawkeye or Sidney or her family, but the apprehension seemed to melt away as the two friends began to tear down the walls that had been Margaret's self-confinement.

**8. I Can Make It Through The Rain - Mariah Carey**

"How's the therapy going?" Hawkeye leaned against the counter, raising his coffee cup to his lips. At Margaret's glance toward him, he smiled. "Margaret, it's kind of hard _not _to notice that Sidney Freedman is here in Crabapple Cove, especially when the population doesn't even hit the 400 mark." He said kindly.

"It's... better." Margaret admitted. "I'm not having as many nightmares, and I've started talking to people again."

"So I heard." Hawkeye smiled gently. "BJ mentioned you called to chew the fat when I called him last week... he seemed relieved that you're getting out of this slump."

She was silent for a few moments, tracing the tip of her finger around the rim of her coffee cup. "Hawk?"

"Yeah?"

"I..." Her voice caught in her throat. Her husband looked at her expectantly for a few moments before pushing off the counter and wrapping her in a bear hug.

"What's wrong, Margaret?" He murmured into her hair.

"Nothing." She said, resting her cheek against his chest. "I'm just... I'm pregnant."

Hawkeye pulled back from their embrace to look at her. "What?" There was a spark in his eyes. A tiny spark, but a spark nonetheless ... something she hadn't seen in his eyes since before Chloe had been diagnosed. "You're..."

"Pregnant." Margaret confirmed, feeling the corners of her mouth tug upwards a little.

With a whoop, Hawkeye picked her up and spun her around in a big hug.

**9. Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns 'N' Roses**

Margaret sat on the porch swing, sipping her iced tea, stroking her ever-growing belly. Since envisioning Chloe and Hawkeye's mother by the side of her bed, so many months ago, she had taken to sleeping better, with fewer nightmares. Finding out two weeks after the vision that she was indeed expecting another baby, she felt like she'd been given another chance... a chance to do things right, even though she knew Chloe's sickness had not been hers or Hawkeye's fault.

Now, at seven months, she had faced the world again, opening up to her friends from Korea, gone back to work, and had even consulted Sidney a few times, when dealing with life had started to get really tough.

But here she was, allowing the warm summer sun to warm her toes and legs under her shift. She smiled slightly, running her hand over her belly again as she felt the baby kick.

"When you're here, my darling... you will know all about your big sister, and your Gramma." She murmured softly. "I promise."

"Enjoying the sun?"

Margaret looked up to see Hawkeye on the porch, having just returned from the clinic. She smiled, patting the swing with her hand, inviting him to sit down.

"How're my girls?" He asked, kissing Margaret, before turning his attention to her swollen belly.

"We're fine..." She murmured softly. "Sophia is a little restless, though..."

Hawkeye clucked his tongue, bending to press a kiss to the unborn child. "Have you tried a story?"

"What would you suggest?" Margaret smiled.

"_Last of the Mohicans_." They said together, laughing.

"Hmmm... Maybe when she's older..." Hawkeye smirked. "I think we can settle on _The Three Bears _for a while."

**10. This Heart Will Love Again - Steps**

Margaret lay back on the pillow, exhausted. For thirty-two hours, she'd been lying here, contraction after contraction making her feel as though she was going to rip apart. Sweat poured off her forehead, running in rivulets down her neck and back. Hawkeye stayed by her side, sponging her face, just as she had for him through countless surgeries in a sub-par operating room half way around the world, five years ago.

"Margaret, I'm going to need you to push now," The doctor said. "You're crowning now... it shouldn't be too long..."

Margaret whimpered, dredging up the strength she needed, propping herself up on her elbows, before pushing down with all her might.

"That's it, you're doing so well, Margaret..." Hawkeye murmured, letting his wife squeeze his hand tightly.

"Here's the head... one more push and she'll be here!"

Margaret took a deep breath, screaming as she pushed once more, feeling the baby slip away from her. A cry rang out through the room, as Margaret fell back on her pillows, exhausted. Opening her eyes as she felt a small wriggling bundle being placed in her arms, she looked down into the red face of her little daughter. "Hi..." she said softly, trailing a finger down the child's cheek, feeling tears of pride, exhaustion and happiness slide down her own. Looking up at her husband, she smiled softly. "Well done, Daddy..."

Hawkeye kissed her forehead tenderly. "Well done, Mommy..."

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A/N: Hope you liked it. Be kind, this is my first ever M*A*S*H fic :-)


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